Sunday, October 27, 2013

Looking Out For Number One

We went to Parent’s Weekend and, of course, all I wanted to talk about were the co-ed bathrooms.

We were about to leave his room for a walk around campus and I asked for the key so I could quickly pee first.

“You don’t need a key anymore,” he said, explaining that they affixed Band-aids to the faceplate so the door just pushes open.

I made my way to the bathroom but never went in.

“The sign doesn’t say ‘Men/Women" anymore. It just says ‘Men’,” I announced back in his room.

“Yeah, don’t worry about that. It’s still for everybody,” he assured me.

“But why does it say only ‘Men’?”

Why indeed!  Because it seems that Residential Life Services originally ordered the wrong signs for these newly renovated dorm bathrooms. Some were supposed be “Men” and some were supposed to be “Women,” and of course some were supposed to be "Men/Women." But the only "Men/Women" ended up being ordered.

Finally, things made sense to me. Because it seemed odd to me that, even in the most liberal of circumstances, some men and some women wouldn’t want a bit more privacy. That some 18-year-old co-ed might want to sanctify her God-given right to poop in solitude. Or at least not with a dude in the next stall.

But, as usual, I am wrong.

My son explained that no one was willing to start using a further away bathroom just because the sign had changed. In fact, the kids made their own handwritten signs that declared, “All Genders Indiscriminately Welcome” and taped them on the door of every bathroom.

I attempted a second shot at peeing, but a girl wrapped only in a towel walked into the “Men’s” bathroom ahead of me. I felt like she should have her privacy, so I walked around the halls until I found the lone “Single” bathroom. I was elated to discover it still had a lock on it.

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