Announcing Me on Patch

When I told my friend John Doe (not his real name) about my new Patch column he seemed a little piqued.

“It’s a weekly column,” I’d said, “and I can write about whatever I want!”

“Anything? Doesn’t it have to be local?” he said.

(Patch is a hyper-local online news magazine put out by AOL.)

“Well, given the fact that I rarely leave the confines of my house or neighborhood, most of the stuff I write ends up being pretty local,” I said. “I asked the editor if I could rework some of my blog posts as submissions.”

“And she said that’s ok?” asked John Doe.

“Yes!” I said. I could barely contain myself.

“She’s paying you to do something that you’re already doing anyway?” he said. “That’s like someone paying me to masturbate.”

“Ew,” I said. “But I guess, sort of, yeah.”

Click here to see PATCH