Facebook is Noshing is Smoking is Resting

I take a lot of shit about the amount of time I spend on Facebook. Here’s the deal.

Thing 1: My husband set up my computer so that when I launch my browser, some tabs come up that automatically access certain sites. Meaning, when I open Firefox, Facebook opens automatically.

In some ways, this is my downfall. If I sit down for a even a minute at my computer, Facebook beckons. And because I am a nosy, Gladys Kravitz type of person, I cannot help just taking a small peek to see what people are up to. Then I make a comment. Then I post an update. Then it’s all downhill from there.

Thing 2: Facebook provides exactly the right combination of “doing something while doing nothing” that I seem to need for my mini-respites throughout the day. Long ago, I used to smoke cigarettes for the same reason. Sitting at my desk and smoking a cigarette provided me with the “rest time” that I needed to transition from one task to another. After I stopped smoking cigarettes, those rest times were recreated through snacking. After I went on Weight Watchers, the snacks had to be replaced with something, and that something has been Facebook.

I’m not going to try and convince anyone that I am not a Facebook addict. I am completely consumed with playing Scrabble on Facebook and I use my Scrabble moves as harmless (calorie- and nicotine-free) incentives to complete the many dreary chores that constitute my day.

I don’t drink. I don’t smoke. I don’t snack. I don’t do drugs. I don’t like to shop. I don’t watch TV (except for Lost and Glee and an occasional Judge Judy while I’m folding the laundry). I don’t do crack or shoot heroin or seduce teenage boys on the internet. I spend too much time on Facebook (and too much money on tennis). If this is what I will burn in hell for, so be it.