“The way to want sex more, is to have more sex,” one player said to another during a water break in clinic.
Sex comes up a lot in Friday tennis, but the truth is, we talk about it in a very general way. We’re more detailed in our descriptions of vacuuming or cat feces than we ever are about what goes on behind closed doors.
“I know,” said Player 2, “but I’m always so cold.”
“Sex will make you warmer,” offered Player 3. (We’re very supportive.)
“But I’m just really cold. I’m freezing all the time.”
“If you were doing Weight Watchers, you could use sex as Activity Points,” I said. Activity Points translate into extra Food Points based on a simple slide-rule formula. I know this is a shabby reason to have sex, but true motivation for so many things so often comes from unexpected places. “If you have more sex, you could eat more.”
Someone’s head was shaking. “I don’t know about that,” said Player 3. “It depends who with.”
This got everyone’s attention. Did she have someone specific in mind? Are there particular people named in the Weight Watchers manual that qualify for Activity Points while others do not? Somehow I must have missed that page.
“You need to have sex with a stranger,” she declared. “Sex with your spouse – or a longtime partner – is the same as walking up a flight of stairs. Sex with a stranger is like sprinting up the wall of your garage.”
We all nodded. Not that any of us would know firsthand.